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Take things slowly, use plenty of lubrication, and stop if it becomes too painful. Don’t aim to have full penis penetration your first go-round. Try using a finger, and then upgrade to two or three fingers. A toy might be a good option, too, as you grow more comfortable with the sensation. After the first time or two, you and your partner will likely find that the pleasure trumps any initial discomforts.
These days though, butt play is hot. Whether it’s Marnie getting rimmed on the hit HBO show Girls, or Harvard University offering an ‘Anal Sex 101’ workshop during their annual ‘Sex Week’, anal sex has decidedly outgrown its verboten past. A 2010 study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that some 40 per cent of women ages 20-24 have engaged in anal sex at least once. And more than half have probably played around with oral or digital stimulation, whether on the giving or the receiving end.
Of course, it is possible that you might encounter a little poop, especially if the receiving partner hasn't had a bowel movement recently (and so, fecal matter may have moved lower in your colon) or if there's residue from a previous bowel movement. Maybe a little poop isn't a big deal to you or your partner — that's great! But if it is, you can take steps to make sure there's no fecal residue left before you get started. "Most people don't regularly have much residue in their rectum, but when they do, the issue can be rectified (pun intended) by anal douching or washing prior to anal sex," Pitagora says.
There are little published data on how many heterosexual men would like their anus to be sexually stimulated in a heterosexual relationship. Anecdotally, it is a substantial number. What data we do have almost all relate to penetrative sexual acts, and the superficial contact of the anal ring with fingers or the tongue is even less well documented but may be assumed to be a common sexual activity for men of all sexual orientations.[67]

2. Try out anal play first. Before embarking on the full monte of penetrative, anal sex, you can—and should!—give lighter anal play a try. This is open to interpretation, and could mean anything from toys to fingers or mouths. It'll give you a lower-pressure idea of what the ~sensations~ of anal stimulation feel like, and is a way of working up to the big show. Or not! If you decide some light anal play is all you're interested in, camp out there forever. No rules here, except to use lube, have consent, and USE LUBE.


A male citizen taking the passive (or receptive) role in anal intercourse (paedicatio in Latin) was condemned in Rome as an act of impudicitia (immodesty or unchastity); free men, however, frequently took the active role with a young male slave, known as a catamite or puer delicatus. The latter was allowed because anal intercourse was considered equivalent to vaginal intercourse in this way; men were said to "take it like a woman" (muliebria pati, "to undergo womanly things") when they were anally penetrated, but when a man performed anal sex on a woman, she was thought of as playing the boy's role.[115] Likewise, women were believed to only be capable of anal sex or other sex acts with women if they possessed an exceptionally large clitoris or a dildo.[115] The passive partner in any of these cases was always considered a woman or a boy because being the one who penetrates was characterized as the only appropriate way for an adult male citizen to engage in sexual activity, and he was therefore considered unmanly if he was the one who was penetrated; slaves could be considered "non-citizen".[115] Although Roman men often availed themselves of their own slaves or others for anal intercourse, Roman comedies and plays presented Greek settings and characters for explicit acts of anal intercourse, and this may be indicative that the Romans thought of anal sex as something specifically "Greek".[116]
The other benefit of starting slow is that you'll build arousal, Pitagora says. "Use slow and gentle stimulation of the area around the anus, the anus, the area just inside the anus, and of the prostate (if your partner has one)," they say. Being fully aroused makes any sexual experience better, but in the case of anal sex it will also help you relax.

If you decide to have penetrative anal sex, take things slowly and communicate with your partner. If you are giving anal sex, use plenty of lubricant and then start by penetrating just a little and then pulling out completely. When your partner is ready, penetrate a bit further and then pull out again. Continue with this until you are fully in – but be prepared to stop at any time if the other person is uncomfortable or in pain.
I’ve always enjoyed anal sex, it usually came doggy style. I haven’t dated in many years, but a male friend recently sent me a dildo, well, superb. He wanted to watch me, so I videoed everything for him. This was the first time I ever got into different positions for anal. Including laying on my side as mentioned previously. I just love anal, and when you’re doing for yourself, positions are key, I can get doggy style in but it strains my arms, the easiest, most comfortable, with less arm straining I’ve found for myself is to lie on back, knees to chest, spread or not. I love anal either way, and men who actually know what they are doing in bed are superb. I’ve recently got completely involved with a bodacious beautiful man I grew up with. WE haven’t had sex yet, I’ve been saving myself for my perfect man, the last man I’ll ever be with. He will enjoy me completely, my sexual appetite and desires have only increased over the years. Wow, it’ll be intensely awesome. I’ve noticed though, reading your bad girl bible, I was doing everything right from the beginning and I’ve learned so much as well. (Its been about 7 yrs now since I let a man touch me) And I’m ecstatic that I’m giving myself to my “Perfect Man”., and what I have in-store for him. WOW!!!
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Anal sex being more common among heterosexuals today than it was previously has been linked to the increase in consumption of anal pornography among men, especially among those who view it on a regular basis.[39][40][52] Seidman et al. argued that "cheap, accessible and, especially, interactive media have enabled many more people to produce as well as consume pornography", and that this modern way of producing pornography, in addition to the buttocks and anus having become more eroticized, has led to a significant interest in or obsession with anal sex among men.[52]
Latex or polyurethane male condoms are highly effective in preventing HIV and certain other STDs when used correctly from start to finish for each act of anal sex. People who report using condoms consistently reduced their risk of getting HIV through insertive anal sex with an HIV-positive partner, on average, by 63%, and receptive anal sex with an HIV-positive partner, on average, by 72%. Condoms are much less effective when not used consistently. It is also important that sufficient water- or silicone-based lubricant be used during anal sex to prevent condom breakage and tearing of tissue. Female nitrile condoms can also prevent HIV and some other STDs. Since condoms are not 100% effective, consider using other prevention methods to further reduce your risk.
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1. Don't try it if you don't want to. There's a big difference between "I don't necessarily fantasize about getting a penis enema but I want to blow my partner's mind" and "I would rather die than do this but I guess I can suffer through it because he's been pressuring me." If you're in a mutually caring, healthy relationship (with a guy who goes down on you for half an hour, minimum), maybe you'll want to do it for your partner or you won't. Either way is 100 percent fine, and if he keeps pressuring you when you have made it clear that it is not on the table, tell him to suck it.
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