Then, when you feel cool, calm, and ready to start exploring anal play, you or your partner can use a finger or sex toy to massage the outside of your anus. This can help you get familiar with the sensation before any kind of penetration happens. Once you’re beginning to enjoy yourself, Dr. Chinn says you can experiment with sticking a finger or sex toy in your anus bit by bit based on what feels good, using plenty of lube, of course.
The risk of getting HIV varies widely depending on the type of sexual activity. Anal sex (intercourse), which involves inserting the penis into the anus, carries the highest risk of transmitting HIV if either partner is HIV-positive. You can lower your risk for getting and transmitting HIV by using condoms the right way every time you have sex; choosing lower risk sexual activities; taking daily medicine to prevent HIV, called pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP); and taking medicines to treat HIV if you have HIV, called antiretroviral therapy (ART).
You don’t need to. As we just established, the chances of you pooping on your partner mid-act are slim to none. But there’s usually no harm in doing an enema as long as you're not doing it often enough to irritate your rectum, Dr. Frankhouse says. He recommends only doing them once every few months and following the instructions every time. If your butt starts feeling irritated when you do enemas, that's a sign you should quit.
Even if the anal they do on screen is hardly realistic for most people in everyday life, though, porn stars (like other sex workers) still have gobs of experience with back door play. (“I know my insides pretty well,” the anal queen Mandy Muse told me, “considering I’ve gone pretty far up and touched them.”) Sure, they sometimes have nasty accidents, or suffer horror stories. And, barring one or two like Kelly, who says that in her personal life she likes to “be ripped around and stretched to the core in an anal Olympics session” like she is on screen, most say they don’t do it nearly as often in their personal lives, and certainly not as hardcore or for as long as they do in scenes. But they know anal, and are happy to share tips for how to do it well.
The emotional overture I feel before boarding a roller coaster is about the same as I feel right before embarking on anal sex: excitement, followed by mild hesitation and nervousness. But! The thing about every single roller roaster ride I've been on (so far) is that I've loved them all. No matter how many butterflies are tap-dancing on the bottom of my stomach as the ride lurches up a steep hill, the thrill I feel at the end of the ride is always worth it.