15. “Personally, I don’t understand some peoples’ obsession, when there’s a perfectly good vagina right next door. Only a few GFs over my long and varied love life were into it, and for them it was like an occasional naughty treat. On these occasions there’s an extra hotness factor added in mentally. As for the raw physical characteristics of tightness and friction, vaginal is better in the long run. I once had a GF who was down for it any time, and we both got bored of it really quickly TBH. On the other hand, a different GF had done some rotten things and we broke up; while making up months later we were in bed spooning naked when suddenly her ass cheeks then asshole started gobbling my cock like Pac-Man, a one-off event that was hotter than molten tungsten.”
Receptive anal sex is much riskier for getting HIV. The bottom partner is 13 times more likely to get infected than the top. However, it’s possible for either partner to get HIV through anal sex from certain body fluids—blood, semen (cum), pre-seminal fluid (pre-cum), or rectal fluids—of a person who has HIV. Using condoms or medicines to protect against transmission can decrease this risk.
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But you can't just slide into anal sex (unless you're using plenty of lube...but more on that later). If you don't know what you're doing and you aren't careful, you could hurt yourself or your partner because the anus is sensitive. "Contrary to what many believe, anal sex does not have to be painful (unless people engaging in it want it to be)," says Dulcinea Pitagora, a sex therapist known as the Kink Doctor. So before you give anal a try, read our tips about how to prep, both physically and mentally.
Unlike vaginas, buttholes don't produce their own lubrication — so you have to help them along. Pitagora suggests using a water-based lubricant like K-Y Jelly or Astroglide. If you're not using silicone sex toys, you can also use a silicone-based lubricant, which tends to be more slick and lasts longer. But, if you're using condoms, avoid oil-based lubricants (like Vaseline) because they can damage the condom.
Historically, anal sex has been commonly associated with male homosexuality. However, many gay men and men who have sex with men in general (those who identify as gay, bisexual, heterosexual or have not identified their sexual identity) do not engage in anal sex. Among men who have anal sex with other men, the insertive partner may be referred to as the top and the one being penetrated may be referred to as the bottom. Those who enjoy either role may be referred to as versatile.
"The key to good anal—yes, that's a thing—is having a partner you trust completely and who will do it right. That means lots of lube, start small with a pinky finger just like in Fifty Shades, then work your way up to small toys or butt plugs. After that, anal can be amazing! It is super intense, and your lover has to be extremely delicate and careful and be a good listener and super patient—and you as the receiver have to have a lot of trust in that.
^ Jump up to: a b c Kilchevsky A, Vardi Y, Lowenstein L, Gruenwald I (January 2012). "Is the Female G-Spot Truly a Distinct Anatomic Entity?". The Journal of Sexual Medicine. 9 (3): 719–26. doi:10.1111/j.1743-6109.2011.02623.x. PMID 22240236. Lay summary – G-Spot Does Not Exist, 'Without A Doubt,' Say Researchers - The Huffington Post (19 January 2012).
Anal sex can feel stimulating and pleasurable for both the person giving and receiving - but it can also take a while to get used to the sensation of it. If it doesn’t go perfectly the first time you can always try again when you’re both in the mood. Remember that you can pause or stop at any point you want. Just because you have started something doesn’t mean you need to continue – stopping is actually very normal.
Kimmie KaBoom: I also am against people using poppers or pills to relax muscles for the same reasons. [And] remember to practice safe sex, because STDs can still be transmitted anally, too. [Note: The fragility of anal wall tissue makes micro tears more likely, increasing the risk of sexually transmitted disease transmission significantly versus vaginal sex.]
From Behind – Once you are comfortable with your man having more control and doing all the thrusting, then you may want to try out some doggystyle type positions, where your man is fucking you from behind. I’ve put together an entirely separate guide on the 19 best anal sex positions here where you are in the doggystyle position or a variation of it.
Anal sex can expose its participants to two principal dangers: infections due to the high number of infectious microorganisms not found elsewhere on the body, and physical damage to the anus and rectum due to their fragility. Unprotected penile-anal penetration, colloquially known as barebacking, carries a higher risk of passing on sexually transmitted infections (STIs/STDs) because the anal sphincter is a delicate, easily torn tissue that can provide an entry for pathogens. The high concentration of white blood cells around the rectum, together with the risk of tearing and the colon's function to absorb fluid, are what place those who engage in anal sex at high risk of STIs. Use of condoms, ample lubrication to reduce the risk of tearing, and safer sex practices in general, reduce the risk of STI transmission. However, a condom can break or otherwise come off during anal sex, and this is more likely to happen with anal sex than with other sex acts because of the tightness of the anal sphincters during friction.
6. Throw other stimulation into the mix. Listen, they don't make those wild-looking, three-pronged sex toys for nothing. Once you're in the groove of things, add in some clit stimulation, some vaginal stimulation, or heck, all three. Some women say this combo feels overstimulating in the best way. In any case, most women need some combination of stimulation to orgasm—whether that's clit/vaginal, or anal/clit+vaginal is totally subjective. But isn't it fun to learn new things about your own orgasms?