First, I’m going to talk about some of the fundamental tips for having great anal sex, then we’re going to cover the actual anal sex techniques and positions you should be using during the act. If you want to skip straight to the anal sex techniques and positions section, click here. I have also created a separate guide here on how to full prepare your body for anal sex (hygiene, etc.).
Reduce your risk of cutting or scratching your partner by trimming your nails. Long nails might tear the thin, delicate tissue of the anus, which could lead to bleeding. It also increases the risk of spreading bacteria that could cause infections. Be sure to wash your hands well and scrub under your nails after anal sex, too, especially before inserting them into the vagina or mouth.
OK, so here’s where we get into some interesting G-spot and P-spot territory. The G-spot is thought to be a cluster of vaginal, urethral, and clitoral tissues and nerves, Dr. Chinn says. While the exact location of this cluster varies from person to person, some people can feel it when they put pressure on the front vaginal wall, about one or two inches inside the vagina. The emphasis here is on “some.” There’s actually a pretty big debate about the G-spot in the sex education and medical fields.
So when you have vaginal sex, and the man cums then (most of the time) pulls out. What happens then? (not sure how graphic I can be here…) Some of the semen comes back out and gets on the sheets, your panties, down your leg… you get the picture. Ever noticed that if stay still on your back or it comes out pretty quickly, that it runs down you to the bed… passing near / over / maybe even slightly in the anus.
The term buggery originated in medieval Europe as an insult used to describe the rumored same-sex sexual practices of the heretics from a sect originating in Bulgaria, where its followers were called bogomils; when they spread out of the country, they were called buggres (from the ethnonym Bulgars). Another term for the practice, more archaic, is pedicate from the Latin pedicare, with the same meaning.
2a : of, relating to, or characterized by the stage of psychosexual development in psychoanalytic theory that follows the oral stage and during which a child derives libidinal gratification from the expulsion and retention of the feces and conflict arises from parental demands regarding toilet training During the anal stage, from about 18 months to 3 years, the sphincter muscles become sensitive and controllable and bowel and bladder retention and elimination become a source of gratification.— David G. Myers, Psychology, 2001
It can be scary when you're trying something new, especially when it involves a body part you're not use to anyone touching. But try to relax as much as possible, because it will make anal sex better, Pitagora says. "Anoreceptive sex is enhanced by an openness to the experience, trust of the insertive partner, an associated sense of arousal, and the ability to overcome the stereotypical taboo," they once wrote in a paper. Bottom line, do whatever it takes to feel as comfortable as possible, because when you're relaxed you'll enjoy the experience more.
During filming, they take cut breaks to apply lube, rarely shown on screen, address messes, and switch from anal back to vaginal sex without showing pre-switch cleaning, which is vital to avoid infections. They also, says self-described “aspiring anal queen” Della Dane, who entered porn last year, “do certain angles and positions for entertainment value that you wouldn’t normally do.” And rather than being ready for anal at any time, stars often need to take breaks of a few days or weeks between a given number of anal shoots. All-in-all, the eight-year industry vet Cherie DeVille told me last year, “you can’t expect your female partner at home to just be able to jump into” anal, especially porn-style anal; the same applies to men and non-binary folks as well.
Even if the anal they do on screen is hardly realistic for most people in everyday life, though, porn stars (like other sex workers) still have gobs of experience with back door play. (“I know my insides pretty well,” the anal queen Mandy Muse told me, “considering I’ve gone pretty far up and touched them.”) Sure, they sometimes have nasty accidents, or suffer horror stories. And, barring one or two like Kelly, who says that in her personal life she likes to “be ripped around and stretched to the core in an anal Olympics session” like she is on screen, most say they don’t do it nearly as often in their personal lives, and certainly not as hardcore or for as long as they do in scenes. But they know anal, and are happy to share tips for how to do it well.
If you’ve had unprotected anal sex and are worried about possible HIV infection, go and see your healthcare professional straight away. You may be able to take post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) to prevent HIV infection, but it has to be taken within 72 hours to be effective. However, PEP is not a replacement for condoms and isn’t available everywhere.
These cancers start in cells in the skin or anal lining that make the brown pigment called melanin. Only a very small portion of anal cancers are melanomas. Melanomas are far more common on the skin in other parts of the body. If melanomas are found at an early stage (before they have grown deeply into the skin or spread to lymph nodes) they can be removed with surgery, and the outlook for long-term survival is very good. But because anal melanomas are hard to see, most are found at a later stage. If possible, the entire tumor is removed with surgery. If all of the tumor can be removed, a cure is possible. If the melanoma has spread too far to be removed completely, other treatments may be given. For more on this, see Melanoma Skin Cancer.
Then, when you feel cool, calm, and ready to start exploring anal play, you or your partner can use a finger or sex toy to massage the outside of your anus. This can help you get familiar with the sensation before any kind of penetration happens. Once you’re beginning to enjoy yourself, Dr. Chinn says you can experiment with sticking a finger or sex toy in your anus bit by bit based on what feels good, using plenty of lube, of course.
Joanna Angel: I go to a proctologist a couple of times a year just to check everything out… It’s kind of important if you’re going to be engaging in anal all the time. My gynecologist recommended I go to one. You’ve got to just listen to your body. You’ve just got to know when you’re too sore and when it’s not the right day for anal. That’s important for any kind of sex, especially for women.
With regard to adolescents, limited data also exists. This may be because of the taboo nature of anal sex and that teenagers and caregivers subsequently avoid talking to one another about the topic. It is also common for subject review panels and schools to avoid the subject. A 2000 study found that 22.9% of college students who self-identified as non-virgins had anal sex. They used condoms during anal sex 20.9% of the time as compared with 42.9% of the time with vaginal intercourse.
For your first time, Hutcherson says spooning is better than doggy-style. “For those just starting out, I think getting on all fours might be a little too intense. Lying on your side in the spooning position won’t allow penetration that’s as deep. It’s also a more relaxing position. When you become more comfortable, the doggie is the easiest way for a woman to orgasm.” And don’t forget to breathe. Says O’Reilly, “As you breathe deeply, your inner sphincter muscle will relax to facilitate penetration.”
15. “Personally, I don’t understand some peoples’ obsession, when there’s a perfectly good vagina right next door. Only a few GFs over my long and varied love life were into it, and for them it was like an occasional naughty treat. On these occasions there’s an extra hotness factor added in mentally. As for the raw physical characteristics of tightness and friction, vaginal is better in the long run. I once had a GF who was down for it any time, and we both got bored of it really quickly TBH. On the other hand, a different GF had done some rotten things and we broke up; while making up months later we were in bed spooning naked when suddenly her ass cheeks then asshole started gobbling my cock like Pac-Man, a one-off event that was hotter than molten tungsten.”
^ Jump up to: a b See here and pages 48–49 for the majority of researchers and heterosexuals defining virginity loss/"technical virginity" by whether or not a person has engaged in vaginal sex. Laura M. Carpenter (2005). Virginity lost: an intimate portrait of first sexual experiences. NYU Press. pp. 295 pages. ISBN 978-0-8147-1652-6. Retrieved October 9, 2011.
37. “For me, it’s because it’s really tight. It’s a really tight hole that can be fully exposed, so you can really get in really deep, and you feel really connected to the woman on a primal level being so deep in her like that. I think it a way it’s the ultimate mark on a woman too. In somewhat of a dominating way. Something about the fact of her never forgetting you deep inside her primal area and letting yourself go inside her is extremely erotic. It’s kind of like imprinting on her. It’s also a woman giving her body fully to you. If you’re doing anal, then you probably have already done everything else. This woman is allowing you access to her all her holes and that’s really hot for a man. I’ve heard in a scientific sense, that the more ways a woman receives a man’s cum, the more likely she is to get pregnant by him. For example, women who swallowed a man’s cum were more likely to get pregnant by him later. They hypothesize it’s due to her body adapting and recognizing his cum when they receive it in different ways. So I think there is a primal, biological reward system for a man to want to be with a woman in all ways and mix with her completely.”
9. Between thin water-based lubes (like Astroglide) and thicker ones (KY), go with the thicker ones, because they don't dry out as quickly. In sex educator Tristan Taormino's crazy-helpful Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, she mentions that Crisco has been a favorite of the LGBT community for a long time, but it's bad to use with condoms because it can eventually poke tiny holes in the latex.