2a : of, relating to, or characterized by the stage of psychosexual development in psychoanalytic theory that follows the oral stage and during which a child derives libidinal gratification from the expulsion and retention of the feces and conflict arises from parental demands regarding toilet training During the anal stage, from about 18 months to 3 years, the sphincter muscles become sensitive and controllable and bowel and bladder retention and elimination become a source of gratification.— David G. Myers, Psychology, 2001
15. “Personally, I don’t understand some peoples’ obsession, when there’s a perfectly good vagina right next door. Only a few GFs over my long and varied love life were into it, and for them it was like an occasional naughty treat. On these occasions there’s an extra hotness factor added in mentally. As for the raw physical characteristics of tightness and friction, vaginal is better in the long run. I once had a GF who was down for it any time, and we both got bored of it really quickly TBH. On the other hand, a different GF had done some rotten things and we broke up; while making up months later we were in bed spooning naked when suddenly her ass cheeks then asshole started gobbling my cock like Pac-Man, a one-off event that was hotter than molten tungsten.”
One person described it as “like getting a tattoo: It hurts, but you know you still love it.” Another person compared it to popping a painful pimple: “The first few seconds can sting, but the sense of relief and endorphins rush immediately afterwards floods out the momentary ‘pain.’” A few other people compared it to the pain you experience when working out. “It hurts because it’s a muscle being stretched. When you first work out, your muscles hurt because they’re being stretched, but you feel good. Similar good feeling but exponentially better.”
While there’s no need to get uber-paranoid about the way you look, smell and taste – we’re all people with the same, sometimes-funky human parts, after all – a nice warm shower with soap is a good idea before you engage in any butt play. Lather yourself up with a mild, non-irritating body wash and scrub until you feel squeaky clean. You can even do this with your partner, for some built-in foreplay.
Stimulation from anal sex can additionally be affected by popular perception or portrayals of the activity, such as erotica or pornography. In pornography, anal sex is commonly portrayed as a desirable, painless routine that does not require personal lubricant; this can result in couples performing anal sex without care, and men and women believing that it is unusual for women, as receptive partners, to find discomfort or pain instead of pleasure from the activity. By contrast, each person's sphincter muscles react to penetration differently, the anal sphincters have tissues that are more prone to tearing, and the anus and rectum do not provide lubrication for sexual penetration like the vagina does. Researchers say adequate application of a personal lubricant, relaxation, and communication between sexual partners are crucial to avoid pain or damage to the anus or rectum. Additionally, ensuring that the anal area is clean and the bowel is empty, for both aesthetics and practicality, may be desired by participants.
"People assume that those who try anal sex have to be gay, or that only men like to have anal, or that having anal is weird, shameful, and wrong because the butt is supposed to only be an 'exit,'" Van Kirk tells BuzzFeed Health. "But that's not true at all. Anyone can experiment with and enjoy anal. In fact, anal sex is the primary form of sex in some countries where birth control is not available to them."
One of the biggest trepidations people have about trying anal sex is that "that's where the poop comes from." But that's actually not 100% true, Pitagora says. "Concerns about dirtiness or messiness are not as relevant as you might think because feces are not stored where anal sex happens (near the anus and rectum), but in the upper bowels," they say.
^ Nussbaum, Martha C. (1994). "Platonic Love and Colorado Law: The Relevance of Ancient Greek Norms to Modern Sexual Controversies". Virginia Law Review. 80 (7): 1562–3. JSTOR 1073514. (Registration required (help)). the kinaidos is clearly a person who chronically plays the passive role [...] More recently, I have been convince by arguments of the late John J. Winkler that kinaidos usually connotes willingness to accept money for sex, as well as habitual passivity [...] In any case, there is no doubt that we are not dealing with an isolated act, but rather a type of person who habitually chooses activity that Callicles finds shameful. That, and no view about same-sex relations per se, is the basis of his criticism. In fact, Callicles is depicted as having a young boyfriend of his own. *The boyfriend is named Demos, also the name for the Athenian "people," to whom Callicles is also devoted. It is likely that the pun on the name is sexual: as Callicles seduces Demos, so also the demos. (It would be assumed that he would practice intercrural intercourse with this boyfriend, thus avoiding putting him in anything like the kinaidos shamed position
^ Ken Plummer (2002). Modern Homosexualities: Fragments of Lesbian and Gay Experiences. Routledge. pp. 187–191. ISBN 1134922426. Retrieved August 24, 2013. The social construction of 'sex' as vaginal intercourse affects how other forms of sexual activity are evaluated as sexually satisfying or arousing; in some cases whether an activity is seen as a sexual act at all. For example, unless a woman has been penetrated by a man's penis she is still technically a virgin even if she has had lots of sexual experience.
Take things slowly, use plenty of lubrication, and stop if it becomes too painful. Don’t aim to have full penis penetration your first go-round. Try using a finger, and then upgrade to two or three fingers. A toy might be a good option, too, as you grow more comfortable with the sensation. After the first time or two, you and your partner will likely find that the pleasure trumps any initial discomforts.