First, a few words about the survey. We shared this 15-question anonymous survey with our social media followers, on our website and in our newsletters—to reach a convenience sample of people connected to San Francisco AIDS Foundation. The 412 people who took the survey likely felt they had something to say about pain and sex. (In other words, the sample isn’t representative of our entire community or San Francisco.)
4. With that said, here is something she will LOVE!!! Note: this technique requires the ability to continue trusting through her orgasms without cumming yourself, but it can cause her orgasm to be longer, or even trigger her to have her first “back to back” multiple orgasms if she doesn’t already!!! Before trying this, you must know your partner, know she is ok with anal, and that it is relatively comfortable for her because it works best when she has NO IDEA it’s coming. HERE WE GO… Have sex in a position that allows you easy access to the area and the ability to grab your penis. I prefer her on her side with me straddling her lover leg. (btw, this position can give maximum penetration, so if she likes it then slam it hard, BUT if you are longer than she is, be careful because you can cause her severe pain. Even if you have never hurt her from penetration depth before, sometimes you will with this position.) Get her worked up by getting her close and backing off a couple times until she is ready to explode!!! Then as she begins to orgasm continue to fully thrust until she is well into her orgasm, then (preferably before she comes down from her current orgasm) as quickly as possible pull out of her, line it up and gently but quickly (again, know your partner) slide your penis inside her rectum and begin thrusting in whatever way she likes. I have NEVER have a complaint from this as it tends to hold that orgasm longer while throwing her into another, often stronger orgasm. Even if it takes a few seconds and the orgasm subsides, she will likely orgasm again very quickly. With this technique, I have been told many times that this caused the anal orgasm to be significantly more intense than the vaginal ones preceding it .
Some infections can cause problems during pregnancy, such as Giardia (giardiasis) and Group B Streptococcus (GBS), among others. Giardia can cause chronic diarrhea which may lead to dehydration and malnutrition, both of which can be dangerous during pregnancy both for the mother and fetus. GBS may be transmitted to the baby during delivery and can lead to an infection in the infant. Both Giardia and GBS often colonize the rectum and can be spread to the vaginal tract if vaginal or oral sex follows anal sex, or if there is any touching (hands or genitals) after anal sex.

9. This is a case where shower or bathtub sex might actually be good. Usually, shower sex is bad and very hard to successfully pull off. But because relaxation is so key here, trying anal play in a place where you're more likely to feel calm and loose is helpful. Plus, if you're worried about cleanliness (which isn't a real problem, but it's an understandable concern), moving things to a place where you're already getting clean helps out.
17. It feels best when there's some additional stimulation going on. Vaginal, clitoral, nipple-centric—whichever feels best for you. While some women only need butt play à la carte, most women can't come from anal stimulation alone. "The anal part is something that's an accent. It adds to the overall experience," says Ian Kerner, sex expert, researcher, and author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. (Incidentally, women who have had anal sex report more frequent orgasms than those who haven't.) That being said...

For your first time, Hutcherson says spooning is better than doggy-style. “For those just starting out, I think getting on all fours might be a little too intense. Lying on your side in the spooning position won’t allow penetration that’s as deep. It’s also a more relaxing position. When you become more comfortable, the doggie is the easiest way for a woman to orgasm.” And don’t forget to breathe. Says O’Reilly, “As you breathe deeply, your inner sphincter muscle will relax to facilitate penetration.”


Take things slowly, use plenty of lubrication, and stop if it becomes too painful. Don’t aim to have full penis penetration your first go-round. Try using a finger, and then upgrade to two or three fingers. A toy might be a good option, too, as you grow more comfortable with the sensation. After the first time or two, you and your partner will likely find that the pleasure trumps any initial discomforts.
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